Cayley is a regular guest at The Nook and you can read a full blog post from an earlier visit here. Today she offers two quick, but meaningful ideas on how we can claim more of ourselves in our experience of motherhood.

What came up strongly for many of the mothers present was the ever present guilt they felt at taking any time for themselves - at even acknowledging that motherhood is hard, all-encompassing and even suffocating at times. In expressing these feelings they were almost always met with comments like, "But it goes so fast. Just enjoy it!" so that we almost always reflexively add "but, of course, I love it!" to balance or almost negate those difficult and often contradictory feelings. That you can love being a mother, love your child and really NOT love some parts of the experience.

The reflection Cayley offers is what if when we said, "This is really hard...this was a really tough day," we stopped feeling the need to add, "but, I love it....but it's wonderful, of course!" How would start to change the culture of motherhood?

One of the things Cayley believes in, when it comes to caring for ourselves as mothers, is that we can add it in, rather than add on.

Self-care is often thought of or spoken of as time away from our kids and she thinks that is important, but she also thinks it's important to claim ourself within our experience of motherhood, when we're with our children. 

Think about ways you can integrate things that you love into your daily experience of motherhood.

Some of Cayley's examples:

• I play the music I want, sometimes
• I went through a phase when I made my lunch first, then I made my son's lunch and I had at least a little bit of my food before I gave him his
• I make the lunch I want
• I light a candle everyday and a diffuser with really nice essential oils - just for me

Mothers brainstormed their own examples - everything from dancing to having a piece of chocolate - of how they could inject little bursts of joy into their day.

What will yours be?

When we observe our children's play and allow them to lead their exploration and discoveries we are giving them the opportunity to foster their own learning at exactly the right time and stage for them. In turn, this experience will give them the intrinsic motivation and confidence to be lifelong learners.

"Loose Parts" is a term first coined by artist and architect Simon Nicholson. He rejected the idea that only select people were "creative" and instead believed that introducing loose parts into children's environments would foster their creativity. In fact, Nicholson's theory extends to the children's input into the design of the space itself.

So what are loose parts?

Loose parts are materials, natural or manmade, that can be moved, manipulated, lined up, transformed, combined, taken apart and put back together in any number of ways. They can be used alone or with other materials and they come with no specific directions. There is no specific function or goal. Closely connected to loose parts play is the idea of open-ended learning. There is not a lot of difference in childhood between art and science, work and play - and all of it is learning! Open-ended materials and experiences encourage problem solving and are child-led, rather than adult-directed. However, the adult plays an important role in preparing the environment for open-ended learning experiences. 

Some examples of loose parts materials could be:

• building materials and blocks
• measuring and pouring containers
• baskets and boxes
• fabric
• mirrors
• play animals, cars and people
• art materials such as buttons, pipe cleaners, corks, popsicle sticks
• rocks, pebbles, feathers, shells
• water and sand

The adult's role in loose parts play could be setting up an "invitation to play" on a child height table. Offering a variety of materials in different baskets and containers within a defined work area like a tray would be one type of invitation. Another type could be a landscape created with coloured blocks, wooden animals and human figures, or a water table with bubbles, sieves and cups.

Once the invitation has been created it is up to the adult to step back and allow the child to lead the activity or use, interpret and manipulate the materials on their own. It is up to the adult to ensure the materials are safe and appropriate for the child so that the child is free to explore them. With this in mind materials set out for a child under three should be large enough that they are not a choking hazard.

Often when a child has an opportunity to use loose parts in their play we will see them making concrete connections and moving materials from one play area to another. For example, a plate of rocks will become "food" for their toy animals or "money" for their store. When children are allowed to integrate different materials creatively they are experiencing open ended learning.

Our Kitsilano shop is curated with the philosophy that child-driven, imagination based, open-ended play materials have longevity and unlimited learning potential.

Visit our loose parts play collection to help you build your own creative library of materials.

Everyone is striving for something that is literally impossible so go easy on yourself.